Friday, December 12, 2008

SCREAAAAMMMMM

i hate my family but love them at the same time i am so glad my dad is leaving tomorrow i am so mad i feel like screaming yelling and swearing i was with them all day my 18 year old sister was acting like a little bitch a 2 year old so inmature my dad was sticking up for her cuz they wanna make me look bad he has been a asshole i have been fighting for 2 weeks now to not cut i dont know how much longer i can fight i feel like i need to be in the hospital my sister helps me with rides cuz i dont rive but then she compalines she dont have to do nothing for me i dont ask she offers then comlaintes about it makes me so mad how much longer can i not cut i odnt know i feel i am going threw withdrawls i am so frusterated and hate myself but why i dont know and i feel i need or deserve to be punished why i dont know i hate myself


HATE MYSELF

3 comments:

PRAYER GIRL said...

Dear sweet Amy,
Love and hate - so closely related and sometimes very twisted. You are not experiencing anything about your Dad and sister that many haven't also experienced.

Step 1 - Admitted we were powerless. Sounds like you feel powerless over the desire to "cut".
Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. God can restore you to a healthy state of mind and body.
Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood him.

God has the power that you lack. Turn this desire to hurt yourself over to Him.
If you feel you need to be in the hospital right now, maybe that is God speaking inside of you. You certainly could go there and get help.

We try to deal with these things alone, but we can't. We need God's power and His working through other people - even professionals in the hospital.

Ask God to guide you "JUST FOR TODAY". Go read my blog if you haven't already. You can take care of yourself and make the right decisions - Just For Today. It's all we have anyway, when you get right down to it. Today!

I'm praying right now for you.
Prayer Girl

Micky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mile191 said...

amy. love you. miss you. only hear what helps you to heal. you are worth it. we are loving you and care for you. you know where i am. love and hugs ♥