Today i am haveing bad thoughts in my head and feeling like cutting myself i am trying so hard
to stay strong to be happy but my heart hurts so bad and i cant get rid of these bad thoughts
i try and try and try to be strong anger burns my heart burns my flesh i hate anger i hate alot of things people who hurt other people why WHY WHY do there have to be hurtful people in this world people who abuse others who abuse children. I freaking hate child abusers they should all be shot i am so mad right now i want to SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
4 comments:
amy, sorry, im here.
don't cut yourself please. abstain. you can do it.
amy, please don't hurt yourself. please, do some of that beautiful art. get lost in something that i see so wonderful in you. i am sorry you are hurting. you are so amazing and kind. you always give me sweet feedback. even reading my awful ramblings about my childhood. my pain, you listen, and you give me those safe hugs. I am here for you too. please write anytime, whatever you need to vent. i love your venting blog idea. you know i have my safe friendly blog, (you come to it, do you know it is me???) and this is my venting. i think it is important to share the real guts of who you are.
so write away, i will be here to listen. don't be lonely, or alone in this. you are a great person. i know because no one has reached out to me the way you have. so consistent. i know that you are there, rooting and cheering me on to heal. i am here too, so take care of you.
I was probably about 45 or 50 years old before I realized that what I did as a child was called "cutting". I never gave it a name. I just did it - dug into myself with my fingernails.
At this older age, looking back, I know that I did it to keep the emotional and mental pain of my life "at bay". I preferred to focus on the pain of hurting myself than on the pain of life.
Today, with the help a 12 step program - I've been in Alcoholics Anonymous for 23 years and in Alanon for 4 years, I have learned healthier ways to deal with life including the pain it sometimes still brings. And I have actually found joy and love for myself.
The abuser is SICK. The one abused is not SICK. The abuse makes us sick.
There is hope. I'll pray for you.
Prayer Girl
Post a Comment